Suggested Alcohol Warning Labels

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
  when you are not.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
  and over again that you love them.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
  are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
  Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ___ kicked.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
  tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

•   Warning! The consumption of alcohol may give you, and only you, the
  impression that every little thought that enters your mind is absolutely
  brilliant and worth sharing and repeating several times throughout the
  evening.

•   Warning! The The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
  invisible.

•   Warning! The The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
  time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally
  disappear.